Sometimes Life is Tough... For Many, This Time is Now...
- My (Nisandeh's) father is dying of cancer and is suffering unbearable pain.
- A dear friend is losing herself in an abusive relationship.
- Another friend is terrified and depressed as his business is going under.
What about you?
What is Troubling or Challenging You These Days?
Year 2020 will be an unforgettable year for most of us.
A year where a lot of what we knew, and trusted, and took for granted in our lives... collapsed.
As a result, many people experience tough times emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and in their relationships.
We all go through tough times in life and how you respond to these difficult times defines who you are as a person.
Here is a short video story to remind you - that how you respond to the difficult times is your choice...
Potatoes, Eggs and Coffee Beans
So...
How to Get Through the Tough Times in Life?
Like it or not, difficult times, tough situations, stressful circumstances and scary obstacles are part of life.
In those tough times, we often start asking, “why me?”, “how will I ever get through this?”, or “what is wrong with me?”
While these are not necessarily bad questions, they usually disempower, paralyse and demotivate - which only make the situation even more difficult.
This is why it is important to ask yourself the right questions when you are going through tough times.
What Questions to Ask Yourself During Tough Times?
Different situations require different questions.
But always remember to ask questions that will motivate you to look for possible solutions and take action to implement these solutions.
It's quite obvious that when you ask better questions, you get better answers.
What is not so obvious is... how to ask better questions, especially when life seems to want to take you down.
So... we've created a powerful tool to help you deal with any difficult situation, by actually asking you an empowering question designed for your situation, so you could reflect, learn, and take action to make the best of the situation.
How to Use this Self Reflection Tool:
- Phrase the difficult situation in a few words (e.g. loneliness, financial worries, bad health, broken marriage, lost faith...)
- Type these words into the text box below, and click the red button.
- Get an empowering question tailored to your situation.
- Reflect on the question.
- Share your insights in the comment box...
Type in Your Situation (e.g. losing my job, getting depressed, no purpose...): By thinking about how your “best self” would react to a certain situation in a week’s time, you are doing two things. First, you are shifting your perspective to think about the problem through the lens of your “best self”. Second, you are distancing yourself from the situation by forcing your mind to consider what things would look like in a week’s time. By doing both of these things, you are ensuring you react in a balanced way.
In a Week’s Time, What Would My Best Self Think About this Situation?
This means understanding that you are coming to this situation from a state that is less than perfect, and you must adjust your expectations.
Feel free to use this tool as often as you need...
And please share it with anyone who goes through tough times...
Let's Talk...
We love sharing our ideas, insights and experiences with you, and we'd love to make it into an empowering discussion... So... please take a moment and join the conversation in the comments (below)...
And yes... we respond to each comment (pretty quickly, usually)...
Get Our Stress Release Practice for FREE…
Let us know in the comment box below what insight(s) did you get from answering the empowering question, and we will email you our Stress Release Practice as our "thank you" GIFT.
Question: finding the right place to contribute
Insight: talk to trusted people, go outward, and talk about my feelings and not-knowing and about the things that I already do know about the direction. All to evolve in my path.
Thanks DJ, for your input.
Is your questions about HOW to find the right place to contribute?
If it is, first have a look WHAT do you wish to contribute and then … Google where you can do that…
Tough times makes me mope and regrind again and again on how grim the future looks. Then I come to the point that I get bored with that same old grinding voice in my head.
When I have felt enough sorry for myself I start grinding on how to improve my situation and what the pros and cons are of the various scenarios.
Then I kick myself in the but and I start adding new elements to my life. Or oldies that worked fine but somehow disappeared from focus.
So no more slouching, couching and being tired. Trying to turn around my diabetes.
I lost 13 kg and am much more energetic, picked up my art work and try to involve the grandkids in painting and fiddling with clay.
More discipline. Not leaving chores to the last minute, now I do the cooking every day.
Because I love it. Working on setting up website new business.
Then lightning struck. Today my darling friend Anne will be carried to her last station. Just died in her sleep at 55. Heartbreaking to see that family shattered by grief.
I am walking around like a zombie wondering what just happened.
But made me realize that we have nothing to complain about. We are the lucky ones. No contract so time enough to spend with each other and make some changes.
We’re all healthy, there’s food on the table and a roof over our heads.
You have to accept the things that you cannot change and change the things you can…
Thank you Dee for this heartfelt and open and courageous sharing.
My heart goes to you and your friend’s family. But like you wrote we all need to learn how to accept the things that we cannot change and change the things we can.
In the end all there is, is… LIFE IS…
Situation: My business has stopped completely
Answer: What is in My Control?
Good question, one I have to think about. What is in my control? Everything I do is… everything I ‘DO’. Well that is clear, at this moment, don’t stop doing. I need to keep doing, not stopping myself. Yes, ideas are coming already.
Cool one, Peter…
Love how you realized that it’s everything that you “DO” is in your control…
Keep us updated. We’d love to hear the ideas you’re implementing.
Hello Nisandeh,
I am working on two ideas at the moment. My business has stopped completely for two years now. I need to change that, because I believe in what I do.
1. I released my first book in 2020. I’m writing a yearly workbook now that can be used with it to perfect your time management and get the most out of life.
2. I’m planning a new series of online challenges and online (because of the pandemic) sessions.
I will evaluate using my own workbook and correct along the way. 2021 will be different.
And in the meantime I’m also thinking of writing my 6th ebook and about creating a podcast. These are just ideas. The workbook is almost done.
Thank you for your reaction!
Great to hear, Peter…
What happened to many businesses and entrepreneurs during this year is that they got paralyzed facing the new and unfamiliar situation…
Some were hoping it will pass quickly and all would come back to normal, others just chose to wait and hope.
Those that choose to be proactive, like I hear you do, are the ones that not only have the better chances to survive this crisis but also to benefit from it.
Keep up the good work…
I realised that I had to revalue my goals and say yes to my higher goal, which is to take care of sick and disabled people.
Share the beautiful island with them being able to take care of them in my little hotel as a safe place to enjoy their holiday with all the care they need.
I really thought it through my hotel should be a place to recover find peace with oneself. I want to spend the rest of my working life doing this. That was and still is my higher goal
Great realization Trudy and so important. Thank you for sharing it.
Curious to know what was the question you got that allowed you to get to this answer.
Strenghts and many beautiful moments I wish for you, your family, and your friends dealing with all the difficulty.
Thanks for your love and blessings Sylvia.
Curious to know what was the question you got and your insights from it
From the situation with my old parent in law and one of them with Alzheimer, I learn patience, I learn about my borders,
I learn to find the balance between trust and being too busy solving the problem! Thnxx!!
Thanks Marjolein for sharing your insight with us.
From my own experience of living with a parent who has Alzheimer, I know how valuable this lesson is.
Curious to know what was the question that got you to this insight?
The question was, what I clould learn from this situation.
Great question. Thanks Marjolein. I hope it was helpful for you with your issue
I have to let it sink in and reflect on it.
The insight was not so much after my question, but after reading your personal note.
It is that I love you guys for sharing everything for all these years. Wish you strengths in this difficult time.
Thanks Jeannette for your love and gratefulness.
We do what we live, which is sharing our knowledge & experience with others.
If it supports anyone out there we feel blessed and grateful for living our life’s purpose.
Curious to know what was the empowering question you got?